I don’t mean to write this tonight, but I can’t sleep and am cramping quite bad. I meant to write this only for my own memory, even if it’s an unpleasant one.
I was passing blood clots earlier today, and decided to get myself checked. And true enough the fetus has stopped growing and the sac is collapsing. Being somewhat prepared for the news, I was OK in the beginning, until Mr. Hubs called. He’s been saying before he left for Turkmenistan, if ever we’re gonna lose the baby, the most he’s worried about is my emotional state. True enough, he was speechless for the first few seconds when he heard I was in tears.
Truthfully, I never expected I would feel this bad seeing other people who have experienced miscarriage get through it rather easily. Obviously I didn’t know what was going on behind the scene. I guess when we want something so badly, and losing it so quickly, it will never be easy.
I know I’m gonna miss Mr. Hubs touching my tummy while reciting the quran almost every early morning.
As of now, I am just to wait for the miscarriage to complete on its own. If it doesn’t, and if it can wait, doc prefers to wait for Mr. Hubs to be home this weekend for the d&c.
I thank you all for the kind words. I pray for another rezeki soon, and I believe Allah knows what’s best for us.